V/H/S/2

It’s clear right from the get-go that V/H/S/2 is going to follow the same mediocre pattern as its predecessor, as the movie is, with one notable exception, rife with half-hearted and overlong sketches that barely manage to hold the viewer’s interest. And although the wraparound story is a marginal improvement over the one contained in the original, V/H/S/2 kicks off with a hopelessly underwhelming tale detailing the spooky shenanigans that ensue after a man (Adam Wingard’s Herman) receives a bionic eye implant. It’s weak, derivative stuff that’s ultimately let down by an anti-climactic finish, and one can’t help but assume that the movie is, as a result, going to fare even worse than the middling first film. There’s little doubt, then, that V/H/S/2 bounces back with a vengeance in its second story, as Gregg Hale and Eduardo Sánchez’s A Ride in the Park puts a thoroughly innovative spin on the zombie genre and immediately establishes itself as a highlight within the entire series. From there, V/H/S/2 shifts to Gareth Evans and Timo Tjahjanto’s promising Safe Haven – which details the chaos that ensues after several reporters attempt to infiltrate an apocalyptic cult. It’s an intriguing setup that’s employed to decent yet unspectacular effect by the filmmakers, with the sporadic inclusion of striking images generally compensating for a short that otherwise overstays its welcome. Of course, Safe Haven is nothing less than a masterpiece compared to V/H/S/2‘s final tale, Jason Eisener’s Slumber Party Alien Abduction – as Eisener, as incompetent a contemporary filmmaker as exists, squanders a promising premise by emphasizing incoherent shaky camerawork and grade-school-level instances of humor. (And, to top it all off, the story concludes with a shot of a dead dog. Stay classy, Eisener.) It’s clear that V/H/S/2 benefits substantially from the inclusion of Hale and Sánchez’s A Ride in the Park, as the movie is, aside from that magnificent short, just as forgettable and disappointing as 2012’s V/H/S.

**1/2 out of ****