Slender Man

Inspired by an internet meme, Slender Man follows teenage friends Wren (Joey King), Hallie (Julia Goldani Telles), Chloe (Jaz Sinclair), and Katie (Annalise Basso) as they summon the title demon and are subsequently forced to fend for their lives. It’s apparent right from the get-go that Slender Man doesn’t have much of a story to tell or even, as becomes clear, a reason to exist, as the movie, directed by Sylvain White, progresses at a plodding, frequently interminable pace and boasts few sequences designed to alleviate the pervasively underwhelming vibe – with the arms-length feel compounded by David Birke’s aggressively uneventful screenplay. And although White has peppered the meandering narrative with a handful of admittedly creepy images and sequences – there is, for example, a decent third-act interlude detailing one survivor’s spooky walk through a hospital – Slender Man is predominantly dominated by long, dimly-lit stretches in which characters attempt to figure out what’s happening to them. It doesn’t help, certainly, that large swaths of Slender Man seem to transpire within the minds of the rapidly-dwindling protagonists, and there does reach a point, perhaps inevitably, wherein the viewer begins to crave a more grounded, reality-based atmosphere. By the time the endless climax rolls around, Slender Man has undoubtedly confirmed its place as one of 2018’s most pointless and incompetent horror efforts – with the abrupt, meaningless finale only perpetuating that feeling.

* out of ****