Section 31

Directed by Olatunde Osunsanmi, Section 31 follows Michelle Yeoh’s Philippa Georgiou as she and a ragtag band of one-dimensional figures attempt to capture a world-ending weapon. Filmmaker Osunsanmi, armed with a script by Craig Sweeny, delivers a disastrously misguided and ineffective endeavor that strikes all the wrong notes right from the get-go, as the movie, which opens with a seriously ill-advised prologue, has been suffused with a generic and painfully slick sensibility that’s reflected in virtually all of its attributes – including (and especially) Glen Keenan’s painfully glossy cinematography, the myriad of inept, incoherent action sequences, and Yeoh’s ceaselessly grating turn as the thoroughly unlikable central character. The tedious, tiresome narrative does little to allay the predominantly unwatchable vibe, while the absolutely endless, explosion-heavy climax ensures that the picture concludes on about as lackluster a note as one could imagine – which, when coupled with a final scene that blatantly leaves the door open for further installments, confirms Section 31‘s place as a complete trainwreck that’s sure to leave even the most ardent sci-fi fan cold.

* out of ****