Mortuary

Written and directed by Howard Avedis, Mortuary follows Mary Beth McDonough’s Christie as she becomes convinced that she’s being stalked by a mysterious figure in a black cloak. Filmmaker Avedis does an effective job of opening Mortuary with a promising, entertaining vibe, as the movie kicks off with a De Palma-like slow-motion sequence that seems to promise a creepy little slasher adorned with stylish touches – with the picture, almost immediately past that point, morphing into an excessively deliberate and entirely uninvolving endeavor devoid of memorable moments. (It doesn’t help, either, that Avedis refuses to pepper the proceedings with attention-grabbing suspense sequences or even over-the-top instances of gore.) The hopelessly dull mystery and bland performances only exacerbate the pervasively underwhelming atmosphere, although Bill Paxton does manage to deliver a decidedly less-than-subtle turn as a creepy embalmer that remains an obvious (and rare) highlight. By the time the surprising yet tedious climax rolls around, Mortuary has certainly confirmed its place as a bottom-of-the-barrel horror flick that’s justifiably been rendered irrelevant in the years since its 1983 release. (The freeze-frame that ends the picture is kind of fun, admittedly.)

* out of ****

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