Lost Song

It’s ultimately impossible to envision a more inept and flat-out excruciating cinematic experience than Lost Song, as the film, saddled with a premise that’d hardly be appropriate for a five-minute short, boasts a series of unbearably pointless sequences that’ll surely leave even the most easy-going viewer contemplating suicide. The degree to which writer/director Rodrigue Jean proves unable to capture one’s interest, even fleetingly, is nothing short of staggering, and it certainly goes without saying that there’s virtually nothing within Lost Song that comes off as authentic or engaging (the scenery is kind of nice, I suppose). Patrick Goyette and Suzie LeBlanc star as Pierre and Elizabeth, a married couple who, along with their newborn, head out to the woods to spend the summer living in an old wooden cabin. The lack of subtlety within Jean’s screenplay proves to be particularly problematic, as it’s clear right from the get-go that Elizabeth is on the verge of a complete and total meltdown (eg she vomits during the car ride up, she can’t handle the baby’s relentless crying, she slaps a total stranger over spilled milk, etc). It subsequently becomes obvious that something terrible is going to happen to that poor baby, with director Jean’s utterly misguided decision to offer up cheap shocks concerning the infant’s fate (eg Elizabeth digs a tiny grave that turns out to be for a dead animal) lending the proceedings a desperate, almost exploitative vibe. There finally reaches a point at which the increasingly exasperated viewer can’t help but wish that Elizabeth would just kill the baby already, as the movie, which certainly affords the viewer plenty of opportunities for daydreaming and bathroom breaks, ultimately comes off as the sort of interminable ordeal that one dreads encountering at a film festival (it’s nice to have gotten what is sure to be the worst that Toronto has to offer out of the way early, however).

no stars out of ****