If I Had Legs I’d Kick You

Directed by Mary Bronstein, If I Had Legs I’d Kick You follows Rose Byrne’s Linda as she attempts to survive a series of calamitous events while caring for her special-needs daughter. Filmmaker Bronstein, armed with her own screenplay, delivers a mostly compelling endeavor that fares best within its engrossing opening and closing stretches, as the movie, which runs a palpably overlong 114 minutes, has been saddled with an episodic, hit-and-miss midsection that feels like it could (and should) be far more streamlined – with questionable digressions and a recurring emphasis on frustratingly antagonistic encounters (eg that motel clerk is just a bit much) wreaking havoc on the picture’s tenuous momentum. It’s clear, then, that If I Had Legs I’d Kick You benefits substantially from Byrne’s often astonishingly accomplished (and flat-out spellbinding) turn as the beleaguered protagonist, and there’s little doubt, too, that Bronstein generally elicits equally superb efforts from Byrne’s various costars – with, especially, Conan O’Brien’s (!) solid work as Linda’s psychiatrist standing as an ongoing highlight within the proceedings. By the time the intense, satisfying third act rolls around, as well as its note-perfect final scene, If I Had Legs I’d Kick You has confirmed its place as a solid drama that probably should’ve topped out at around an hour and a half.

*** out of ****