Black Christmas

Shockingly awful in every way imaginable, Black Christmas – despite the talent both in front of and behind the camera – easily comes off as one of the worst horror remakes to come around in quite some time (which is certainly no small feat, really, when one considers the ineffectiveness of its predecessor). Filmmaker Glen Morgan has infused the proceedings with a vibe that’s nothing short of baffling, and his decision to relentlessly emphasize style over substance proves to be a disastrous one. The plot is essentially the same as the original’s – with several sorority sisters (including Mary Elizabeth Winstead’s Heather and Michelle Trachtenberg’s Melissa) terrorized by a Christmas-obsessed psychopath named Billy Lenz (Robert Mann) – though Morgan augments the proceedings with needless bursts of backstory for Mann’s character (it’s hard to imagine even the most ardent Black Christmas fan needing/wanting this much Billy Lenz info). But that’s the least of the film’s problems; the almost complete lack of character development among the female leads (ie these girls are all essentially interchangeable) makes it impossible to keep track of who’s dead and who’s still alive (it’s harder still to actually care). The off-kilter, uncomfortably in-your-face visuals only cements Black Christmas‘ status as a thoroughly obnoxious piece of work – one that’s almost entirely devoid of positive attributes (even the kills are subpar, as Lenz offs virtually all of his victims in precisely the same manner).

1/2* out of ****