Beowulf & Grendel

Based on the famed epic poem, Beowulf & Grendel tells the astonishingly dull and hopelessly irrelevant story of a legendary warrior named Beowulf (Gerard Butler) who must hunt down and kill a murderous troll before it does any more damage. With a storyline that involves sea monsters, larger-than-life heroes, and quirky fortune tellers, it seems clear that Beowulf & Grendel has been geared specifically to appeal to children – although the presence of some awfully scary moments towards the end would seem to refute that idea. The result is a movie that’s not entirely appropriate for kids but way too silly for adults, while Gunnarsson’s bland directorial choices ensure that even fans of the source material will be left scratching their heads. The performances are competent, at least, although a large portion of the dialogue is virtually impossible to follow thanks to Gunnarsson’s ill-conceived vision (it’s either flowery to such an extent that it doesn’t make any sense or it’s drowned out by some seriously heavy accents). That Robert Zemeckis’ next film is also based on this story is a frightening thought, and it’s impossible not to wonder just what it is about this pointless tale that its followers have latched onto.

* out of ****