A Cure for Wellness

A misguided and often intolerable trainwreck, A Cure for Wellness follows ambitious executive Lockhart (Dane DeHaan) as he agrees to travel to a remote spa to retrieve his company’s missing CEO (Harry Groener’s Pembroke) – with complications ensuing as it becomes increasingly clear that strange, sinister things are afoot within said spa. Filmmaker Gore Verbinski admittedly does an effective job of initially infusing A Cure for Wellness with some promise, as the movie kicks off with an opening stretch that boasts an ominous and palpably stylish atmosphere – with the watchable vibe perpetuated by DeHaan’s solid turn as the impressively unlikable protagonist. It’s clear, then, that the picture begins its steady downfall into complete irrelevance once the action shifts to the aforementioned spa, with the most obvious problem here a midsection that grows more and more repetitive as it unfolds – as scripter Justin Haythe places an egregious emphasis on Lockhart’s investigation into the inner workings of the spa and its creepy, mysterious history. (It ultimately feels like a good third of A Cure for Wellness‘ absolutely ludicrous 146 minute running time is devoted to Lockhart’s exploration of the massive facility.) Haythe attempts to keep things interesting by layering the proceedings with a whole host of off-the-wall elements (eg Mia Goth’s frustratingly weird Hannah, an emphasis on snake imagery, etc), but there’s virtually nothing here that manages to make anything even resembling a positive impact – which, naturally, ensures that the movie’s grand-guignol final stretch falls hopelessly flat. The end result is an almost astonishingly abhorrent piece of work that’s as wrongheaded as it is poorly paced, and it’s impossible not to wonder if Verbinski himself ever actually sat through the final product. (Again, why is this movie a minute longer than an hour and a half?)

no stars out of ****