Topology of Sirens

I have a theory that if the font in a movie’s opening titles is ugly, the movie probably isn’t going to be very good; bad taste in fonts is usually indicative of bad taste in general. And yep, Topology of Sirens: poor font choice, shoddy film. It’s agonizingly aimless and obtuse, and is a serious chore to sit through. The characters rarely talk, and when they do, the stilted performances and dull improvised-sounding dialogue makes it impossible to care. It’s one of those movies where you can’t help but wonder if the director is wealthy or has wealthy friends, because outside of the festival circuit, I can’t imagine this film will have much of an audience. The Fantasia guide compares it to Apichatpong Weerasethakul, and if all you know about his movies is that they have a lot of long static shots in which not much happens, then sure, it’s just like one of his films. But if you’re expecting this movie to be even remotely as compelling as one made by Weerasethakul (or compelling at all??), you’re out of luck.

* out of ****