976-Evil

Directed by Robert Englund, 976-Evil follows rebellious teenager Spike (Patrick O’Bryan) as he impulsively decides to call a 1-900 number to get his “horrorscope” and, shortly after, begins committing a variety of crimes. Spike’s put-upon cousin, Hoax (Stephen Geoffreys), decides to call the 1-900 number himself after learning of its supernatural powers, with the film subsequently detailing Hoax’s slow but steady transformation into a bloodthirsty demon. Englund, working from a script by Rhet Topham and Brian Helgeland (!), has infused 976-Evil with an aggressively campy feel that immediately sets the viewer on edge, with the movie’s eye-rollingly off-kilter vibe compounded by its proliferation of one-dimensional characters and surprisingly convoluted narrative. Equally problematic is Englund’s decision to employ as incongruously slow and muddled a pace as one could possibly envision, as the excessively deliberate atmosphere effectively holds the viewer at arm’s length and ensures that one can’t help but wish that Englund would just get on with it already. The film’s rampant quirkiness, which is never more evident than in Sandy Dennis’ obnoxiously over-the-top turn as Hoax’s religious aunt, proves instrumental in ultimately cementing 976-Evil‘s place as a hopelessly obnoxious piece of work, with the overblown third act paving the way for an anticlimactic finish that is, admittedly, right in line with everything leading up to it.

1/2* out of ****