Teeth

Directed by Mitchell Lichtenstein, Teeth follows a virginal teenager (Jess Weixler’s Dawn) as she makes a shocking (and gruesome) discovery about her nether regions. It’s promising subject matter that’s squandered virtually from the word go by Lichtenstein, as the filmmaker, working from his own screenplay, delivers a relentlessly (and frustratingly) off-kilter endeavor that grows less and less interesting (and more and more interminable) as it progresses – with the arms-length atmosphere perpetuated and heightened by Lichtenstein’s decision to suffuse the proceedings with an infuriatingly campy feel (ie the whole thing is just so aggressively smug). The picture’s colossal failure is especially disappointing given the impact and effectiveness of Weixler’s commanding turn as the sympathetic central character, and there’s little doubt, certainly, that the few partially compelling sequences are rendered moot and cancelled out by the pervasively quirky vibe – which, when coupled with an absolutely endless third act, confirms Teeth‘s place as a missed opportunity of fairly epic proportions.

* out of ****