Talk to Me

Directed by Danny Philippou and Michael Philippou, Talk to Me follows a group of generic characters as they find themselves pursued by sinister forces after stumbling upon an embalmed hand. Filmmakers Philippou and Philippou, armed with Danny Philippou and Bill Hinzman, admittedly do an effective job of kicking the proceedings off with a memorable, promising pre-credits sequence, although, as becomes increasingly clear, the initial goodwill is immediately squandered by a growing emphasis on unpleasant, dimly-lit visuals, one-dimensional characters, and a narrative with little in the way of forward momentum or propulsion – with the arms-length atmosphere perpetuated (and exacerbated) by a sluggish and often astonishingly deliberate pace (ie the picture crawls from one uninvolving, underwhelming set-piece to the next, ultimately). And while Philippou and Philippou have peppered the proceedings with a few appreciatively gruesome shocks, Talk to Me‘s absence of compelling attributes makes it virtually impossible to work up the slightest bit of interest in (and sympathy for) the protagonists’ perilous exploits – which, when coupled with an absolutely interminable final stretch, cements the movie’s place as a complete misfire that does, in the end, take itself way, way too seriously.

1/2* out of ****