Monster Seafood Wars

Though the ingredients are seemingly all here for an enjoyable throwback romp, Monster Seafood Wars is surprisingly leaden and never even remotely as fun as it’s trying to be. About a team of soldiers working to defeat a giant octopus, squid, and crab, the film is half winking Godzilla homage and half fake documentary, a storytelling conceit that always feels incredibly awkward. I’m pretty sure the entire purpose of the documentary stuff is to pad out the short 84 minute running time, and to provide some much-needed connective tissue for the absolutely threadbare narrative. The bulk of the budget (such as it is) clearly went to the rubber-suited monsters (and some of that stuff is reasonably fun), with the rest of the film featuring the production value and quality level of an ambitious student film produced by a group of kids who bit off a bit more than they can chew. It’s awkwardly plotted and all-around poorly made. The film is clearly going for “so bad it’s good,” which is an aesthetic that requires a deft touch to not come off as straight-up bad. No such deft touch is present here.

*1/2 out of ****