Anonymous

An unmitigated disaster, Anonymous follows Rhys Ifans’ Earl of Oxford as he successfully convinces a struggling playwright named William Shakespeare (Rafe Spall) to take credit for his own stage plays – with the film, for the most part, detailing the double-crossing, behind-the-scenes political intrigue that ensues among a myriad of royal characters (including Vanessa Redgrave’s Queen Elizabeth I and David Thewlis’ William Cecil). The ongoing, relentless emphasis on the latter aspect of the story is ultimately what cements Anonymous‘ complete and utter failure, as filmmaker Roland Emmerich, working from John Orloff’s screenplay, is simply unable to transform any of these stuffy, true-life figures into folks worth caring about or sympathizing with. It’s consequently not surprising to note that the viewer has absolutely nothing invested in anything that transpires throughout the absurdly (and unreasonably) dense narrative, with the film’s talented cast, which includes Derek Jacobi and Joely Richardson, left floundering and trapped within characters that couldn’t possibly be less developed. The presence of several big, over-the-top sequences within the movie’s third act doesn’t even come close to alleviating the pervasively tedious atmosphere, as such moments are presented with an almost stunning lack of context that prevents one from working up even an ounce of interest in their outcome. (There’s a similar lack of resonance for the various revelations that crop up in the film’s final stretch.) The end result is an abhorrent and completely boring piece of work that’s sure to leave even history buffs checking the time on a continuous basis, and it’s ultimately clear that Emmerich should stick to the larger-than-life, blockbuster fare with which he’s become associated.

no stars out of ****