Longlegs

Directed by Oz Perkins, Longlegs follows a haunted FBI agent (Maika Monroe’s Lee Harker) as she sets out to find and stop a serial killer known only as Longlegs (Nicolas Cage). It’s familiar yet workable subject matter that is, for the most part, employed to tiresome, interminable effect by Perkins, as the filmmaker, armed with his screenplay, delivers a spare and egregiously deliberate endeavor that contains few, if any, attributes designed to capture and sustain the viewer’s attention – with the arms-length atmosphere compounded by Andres Arochi’s bland, flat visuals and Monroe’s off-puttingly deadpan lead performance. (The latter is especially problematic, given that there’s never a point at which Lee becomes even slightly interesting or sympathetic.) There’s little doubt, as well, that Longlegs‘ failure stems from a predominantly impenetrable narrative that’s been suffused with almost comically baffling plot beats and twists, while the growing emphasis on eye-rolling, impossibly stupid supernatural elements only perpetuates the incoherent, astonishingly unwatchable vibe – which, when coupled with a seriously (yet far-from-surprisingly) ineffective climactic stretch, confirms the movie’s place as just another tedious misfire from a talented but hopelessly clueless filmmaker.

1/2* out of ****