Show Dogs

Directed by Raja Gosnell, Show Dogs follows a grizzled detective (Will Arnett’s Frank) as he reluctantly agrees to team up with a police dog (Chris ‘Ludacris’ Bridges’ Max) to take down cold-hearted animal smugglers. Filmmaker Gosnell, armed with a script by Max Botkin and Marc Hyman, delivers a predominantly grating and unwatchable endeavor that gets off to a palpably awful start, as Show Dogs, which ultimately feels much, much longer than its 92 minutes, opens with an aggressively ineffective sequence that establishes a bottom-of-the-barrel atmosphere right from the get-go – with the eye-rollingly tedious vibe enhanced (and perpetuated) by Gosnell’s emphasis on tiresome, hackneyed attributes and elements. (There are, for example, a trio of sassy pigeons that have been included solely to placate small, indiscriminate children.) From there, Show Dogs progresses into a hopelessly uninvolving narrative that’s been augmented with a whole host of needless subplots and misguided gags – with the latter certainly reflected most keenly in an ongoing bit detailing Max’s reluctance to have his testicles cupped by Max and eventually a dog-show judge. By the time the frenetic and decidedly interminable climax rolls around, Show Dogs has long-since cemented its place as a second-rate, low-rent disaster that fares poorly even by the standards of movies of this ilk.

1/2* out of ****