Cosmopolis

Based on Don DeLillo’s almost remarkably awful book, Cosmopolis follows 28-year-old billionaire Eric Packer (Robert Pattinson) as he hops into a stretch limousine and embarks on a journey to get a haircut – with the character’s trek interrupted by a wide variety of oddball characters and outlandish happenings. It’s clear immediately that filmmaker David Cronenberg, working from his own screenplay, has elected to remain completely faithful to the source material, as Cosmopolis, much like DeLillo’s interminable novel, is rife with long, tedious conversations revolving around a whole host of decidedly uncinematic topics (including capitalism, currencies, and arcane philosophical theories). There’s consequently little doubt that one’s ongoing efforts at embracing the material fall hopelessly (and consistently) flat, with the palpably dreary atmosphere compounded by a uniform selection of underdeveloped, one-dimensional characters. (It doesn’t help, either, that each and every one of these figures has been saddled with dialogue that couldn’t possibly sound more artificial and stagy; eg “time is a thing that grows scarcer every day; what, you don’t know this?”) It’s a shame, really, given that Cronenberg has assembled an admittedly impressive cast, with Pattinson’s strong work matched by an eclectic roster of supporting performers that includes, among others, Kevin Durand, Juliette Binoche, Jay Baruchel, and Paul Giamatti. And although the narrative has been peppered with a very, very small handful of striking moments (eg a violent riot occurs just outside Eric’s limo), Cosmopolis is, for the most part and without mincing words, an astonishingly boring drama that marks the latest misfire for a once rock-solid filmmaker – with the movie’s seemingly endless climax only cementing its place as a fairly reprehensible piece of work.

* out of ****