The Films of Michael Bay
Bad Boys (January 23/15
Directed by Michael Bay, Bad Boys follows loose-cannon cops Mike Lowrey (Will Smith) and Marcus Burnett (Martin Lawrence) as they attempt to take down a notorious drug kingpin named Fouchet (Tchéky Karyo). It's interesting to note that Bad Boys, Bay's first feature, boasts (or suffers from) all of the elements of excess with which Bay has come to be associated, with, for example, the movie containing a heaping handful of obnoxiously over-the-top instances of comedy and several unabashedly larger-than-life action sequences. (In terms of the latter, it's hard to deny the effectiveness of many of the film's high-octane moments - including a third-act chase that's genuinely exciting.) The promise of the movie's initial stretch is heightened by a feeling of genuine chemistry between Smith and Lawrence, and it's obvious that Bad Boys benefits substantially from the affable, charismatic work of its two stars (although, by that same token, Lawrence's frequently broad performance can occasionally be difficult to wholeheartedly stomach). Bad Boys' passable vibe persists right about until it saunters into its middling midsection, with the narrative dwelling on the silliness that ensues as Mike and Marcus are forced to switch places. It's a momentum-killing subplot that slowly-but-surely drains the viewer's interest and ultimately lessens the impact of the action-packed third act, which, in the end, confirms the movie's place as just another typically erratic endeavor from Bay.
out of
The Rock (July 9/14)
The last film produced by Don Simpson, The Rock follows mild-mannered chemist Stanley Goodspeed (Nicolas Cage) as he's forced to team up with a hardened criminal (Sean Connery's John Patrick Mason) after armed terrorists take hostages on Alcatraz Island - with the situation exacerbated by said terrorists' threats to deploy missiles armed with a deadly toxin. It's fairly surprising to note that The Rock gets off to an impressively watchable start, as director Michael Bay infuses the film's first half with a briskly-paced and irresistibly larger-than-life sensibility - with the atmosphere of go-for-broke entertainment heightened by the solid work from Cage and Connery. (It doesn't hurt, either, that the supporting cast has been peppered with a whole host of familiar faces, including David Morse, John Spencer, Tony Todd, and, as the movie's scenery-chewing villain, Ed Harris.) The movie also benefits from the presence of several impressively suspenseful sequences and interludes, as Bay does a nice job of eliciting a fair deal of tension out of the characters' ongoing attempts at handling the aforementioned toxin. As is typical with Bay's cinematic endeavors, however, The Rock inevitably reaches a point at which it begins to pummel the viewer with its relentless action and over-the-top explosions - with the film's climactic stretch consequently transformed into a tedious slog that's almost entirely lacking in anything resembling thrills or excitement. The Rock is far from the worst movie that Bay's made, but given its roster of impressive performers and promising opening hour, it might just the ADD-afflicted filmmaker's most disappointing.
out of
Armageddon
Pearl Harbor (April 11/16)
Pearl Harbor, true to its title, details the buildup to and fallout from the Japanese attack on the infamous Hawaiian military base in 1942, with the movie specifically detailing the wartime exploits of two childhood friends (Ben Affleck's Rafe and Josh Hartnett's Danny) and their eventual love for the same woman (Kate Beckinsale's Evelyn). It's interesting to note that, at the very least, Pearl Harbor remains tolerable for much of its undeniably overlong runtime (184 minutes!), as filmmaker Michael Bay has infused the proceedings with an appropriately old-school, sweeping sensibility that suits the less-than-subtle material well - although it remains abundantly clear throughout that is hampered by Bay's typically excessive approach. The director, working from a script by Randall Wallace, goes for broke in virtually every scene within the proceedings, with the progressively exhausting atmosphere ensuring that the viewer's interest dwindles steadily as time goes on. And although the attack on the title locale is admittedly quite thrilling, Bay's aggressive modus operandi prevents even this stretch from making the powerful impact that he's obviously intended (ie it goes on so long that it simply wears out its welcome). The various machinations employed to keep the love triangle afloat grow more and more tiresome as well, to be sure, and it certainly doesn't help that Hartnett's stiff performance precludes him from establishing any real chemistry with Beckinsale's affable character. By the time the passable yet (surprise, surprise) overlong Dolittle-raid third act rolls around, Pearl Harbor lives up to its reputation as a typically bloated Michael Bay production that squanders its few positive attributes over the course of a ludicrously padded-out running time (ie this thing could and should have topped out at two hours).
out of
Bad Boys II (July 16/03)
Michael Bay's made a career out of excess, and it's generally served him well. With the exception of his last film, the misguided but generally underrated Pearl Harbor, Bay seems to know exactly what audiences want and he's more than happy to deliver. But with Bad Boys 2, he's gone too far; the film, which runs close to 150 minutes, feels like a rough cut rather than a finished product. There are many sequences in the movie that feel as though they could've either been seriously edited down or eliminated altogether, and as a result, Bad Boys 2 is an occasionally entertaining but ultimately overlong and bloated summer action movie. Not helping matters is the fact that there isn't really enough plot here to sustain a two-and-a-half-hour movie, as the storyline essentially follows detectives Mike Lowrey (Will Smith) and Marcus Burnett (Martin Lawrence) as they attempt to take down a ruthless drug dealer (Jordi Molla's Johnny Tapia) and a shady Russian businessman (Peter Stormare's Alexei). And while Bad Boys 2 contains all the requisite ingredients for a big summer movie, including charismatic stars and plenty of action, the film is hindered by Bay's aggressively in-your-face directorial choices and the aforementioned outrageous running time. For a while there, though, the movie is surprisingly entertaining; Smith and Lawrence have real chemistry together, and the script (penned by Ron Shelton and Jerry Stahl) manages a nice balance of comedy and action. There's a great car chase in the first hour that almost makes the entire movie worth checking out, as Marcus and Mike go after a group of baddies in a Ferrari on a crowded highway. That sequence was exciting and well done, and the same can be said of a few other action set-pieces in the film's first half. It's also worth noting that the movie is surprisingly violent, especially in this day and age when most films are edited down from an R-rating to appeal to a wider audience. Characters are bloodily shot in the head, corpses are used for speed bumps; Bay seems out to prove that today's audiences are primed for films that don't cut away every time someone gets killed. It's around the midway point that Bad Boys 2 starts to become an exercise in patience more than anything else, however, as the repetitive nature of the film becomes a lot more noticeable: Marcus and Mike fight, go after bad guys, get chewed out by their captain (Joe Pantoliano, reprising his role from the original and stealing every single one of his scenes), and start fighting again. Even the action becomes tiresome after a while; that aforementioned car chase was certainly more than enough for one movie, but Bay throws in another long car chase (one that's far too reminiscent of a similar sequence within Jackie Chan's Police Story) which is admittedly well-executed but enough is enough. Even Bay's much-maligned Pearl Harbor never felt this long, and that's really saying something. As far as summer entertainment goes, you could probably do worse than Bad Boys 2. But had Bay submitted his film to test screenings (which I'm certain he didn't), there's no doubt it would be a heck of a lot better than it is. As it stands, it's mindless and loud - the only two ingredients a lot of folks seem to look for in big-budget flicks.
out of
The Island
Transformers (June 29/07)
Logic suggests that even the most inept filmmaker would have a hard time turning a movie about enormous fighting robots into an unwatchable and flat-out dull piece of work, but that's precisely what Michael Bay has done with Transformers. By infusing the proceedings with his infamously over-the-top sensibilities, Bay has essentially stripped the Transformers of their inherent appeal; with the exception of Optimus Prime, none of these robots possess anything even resembling a memorable personality (although one of them, inexplicably, does seem to have overtly "black" speech patterns). Not that the humans fare much better; Bay, along with screenwriters Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman, initially places the emphasis on uniformly uninteresting human figures and their respectively dull exploits, presumably in an effort to create an atmosphere of mystery and suspense around the titular creatures. It doesn't work in the slightest, as talented performers like Shia LaBeouf, Josh Duhamel, and John Turturro have been wedged into wafer-thin characters that certainly conform to overt stereotypes (ie the nerd-turned-hero, the quirky government agent, etc) but absolutely do not come off as actual people. The presence of several attractive but vacuous actors in key roles - ie Tyrese Gibson and Megan Fox - only exacerbates such problems, while Bay's penchant for pointlessly silly comedic cutaways remains as problematic as ever (Anthony Anderson as a legendary hacker? Really?) And while a few of the early action sequences are admittedly somewhat compelling - with an opening battle at a desert army base clearly the highlight - Bay's absolute inability to hold a shot for more than a few seconds, coupled with his relentless use of shaky camerawork, ultimately renders the majority of such moments meaningless. This is particularly true of the climactic duel between Optimus Prime (voiced by Peter Cullen) and Megatron (Hugo Weaving), which transpires on the streets of a busy metropolitan area. On paper, such a confrontation surely sounded like a can't-miss proposition; in Bay's hands, however, the duel quickly becomes an interminable, unintelligible affair, as even the most eagle-eyed viewer will be left baffled by the overwhelming jumble of computer-generated special effects. On a much more basic level, though, Transformers is simply unable to elicit a sense of awe or wonder in the viewer; there's virtually nothing distinguishing the film from any other loud and obnoxious summer movie, other than the fact that it's actually worse than most similarly-themed fare.
out of
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (July 23/09)
A minor improvement over its nigh abominable predecessor, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen follows Shia LaBeouf's Sam Witwicky as he finds himself once again embroiled in the ongoing battle between the peaceful Autobots and the villainous Decepticons - with the chaotic storyline kicked into gear after Sam inadvertently becomes a vessel for thousands of years worth of Cybertron history (thus paving the way for the return of a mythical transformer known as The Fallen). It's as convoluted a set-up as one might've expected based on both the original movie's trajectory and on filmmaker Michael Bay's admittedly consistent body of work, which - for better or worse - ensures that fans of this sort of thing will find exceedingly little to complain about (and, conversely, cements the film's failure among detractors). There's also little doubt that the movie is at its worst during its more overtly action-oriented moments, as Bay's notoriously kinetic directorial choices (ie rapid-fire editing, swooping camerawork, etc, etc) - coupled with the absurdly articulated nature of the title creatures - transforms such interludes into an almost meaningless jumble of colorful images (with the one exception to this a relatively decent fight scene that transpires within an open clearing). And while the cast boasts such genuinely talented folks as LaBeouf, John Turturro, and Josh Duhamel, Bay's relentlessly slick sensibilities leave the actors with little to do but wear expressions of either awe-struck fascination or horrified alarm (and it's not surprising to note that only Megan Fox seems completely at home within the pervasively inauthentic atmosphere). Despite its myriad of deficiencies (ie the presence of two jaw-droppingly racist bots, an ongoing emphasis on eye-rollingly juvenile instances of humor, etc, etc), Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen generally remains far more watchable than it has any right to be - yet it's just as clear that the movie's ludicrous running time of 150 minutes (!) ensures that it runs out of steam somewhere around the halfway mark. The film's ridiculous overlength is never more evident than in the build-up to the frenetic climax, as scripters Ehren Kruger, Roberto Orci, and Alex Kurtzman pepper the proceedings with a whole host of superfluous elements - most of which, unfortunately, seem to involve Turturro's character - that seem to exist only to add needless minutes to the final product. The expectedly excessive battle that closes the movie only cements Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen as a hopelessly overblown piece of work, and it ultimately goes without saying that films of this ilk should top out at 90 minutes (at the most).
out of
Transformers: Dark of the Moon (July 14/11)
The Transformers series comes to a merciful close with this hopelessly anticlimactic installment that is, as expected, just as underwhelming and unwatchable as its predecessors, with director Michael Bay's notorious (and pervasive) incompetence ensuring that the movie boasts exceedingly little in the way of positive attributes. The disastrously padded-out storyline, which basically follows Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) as he's forced to once again team up with the Autobots to defeat the Decepticons, is especially disappointing this time around, as the film kicks off with a surprisingly promising sequence detailing the title creatures' initial arrival in our atmosphere back in the early '60s. Bay, of course, squanders this opening by immediately segueing into a laughable early-morning encounter between Sam and his new girlfriend (Rosie Huntington-Whiteley's Carly), with the filmmaker's slick sensibilities ensuring that this simple scene feels as though it'd be more at home within a Victoria's Secret commercial. From there, Transformers: Dark of the Moon improves slightly (yet temporarily) as the emphasis is placed on Sam's dogged job search - with the expected inclusion of needless subplots and periphery characters initially not as problematic as one might've feared. It does, however, become more and more difficult to overlook Bay's penchant for eye-rolling instances of comedy, with Ken Jeong's unreasonably over-the-top turn as Sam's paranoid coworker certainly emblematic of the film's questionable sense of humor. The meandering atmosphere, as a result, wreaks havoc on the movie's already-tenuous momentum, and one inevitably can't help but wish that Bay would just get on with it already - with the insurmountably overlong running time effectively (and palpably) draining the proceedings of its energy and ensuring that the action-packed third act comes off as a mind-numbingly tedious slog through gravity-defying special effects. The end result is a disastrous capper to one of the worst contemporary trilogies on record, and it ultimately goes without saying that Bay has, with all three of the movies, cemented his place as a seriously (and irredeemably) worthless mainstream filmmaker.
out of
Pain & Gain (June 23/13)
Apparently based on a true story, Pain & Gain follows three bodybuilders (Mark Wahlberg's Daniel Lugo, Dwayne Johnson's Paul Doyle, and Anthony Mackie's Adrian Doorbal) as they conspire to kidnap a wealthy businessman (Tony Shalhoub's Victor Kershaw) and steal all his money - with problems naturally ensuing as the trio are faced with a variety of problems and issues in the crime's aftermath. It's an unabashedly lurid premise that is, at the outset, employed to unexpectedly engrossing effect by filmmaker Michael Bay, as the director's notoriously slick sensibilities prove an ideal match for Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely's pervasively sensationalistic screenplay. It's clear, also, that the uniformly entertaining performances play a key role in cementing the movie's early success, with, in particular, Johnson's consistently mesmerizing turn as the dim-witted Doyle ranking as a highlight in both the proceedings and the actor's entire body of work. The frenetic narrative, perhaps inevitably, slowly-but-surely progresses from attention-grabbing to exhausting, however, and the viewer's interest, as a result, begins to wane somewhere around the one-hour mark and never completely recovers (ie it's all just too much, ultimately). And while it's admittedly rather impressive just how dark the story eventually becomes (ie this is a film that earns its R rating, to be sure), Pain & Gain, in the end, comes off as just another palpably excessive endeavor from a filmmaker lacking in anything resembling restraint - which is a shame, certainly, given the potential of the performances and the true-life storyline.
out of
Transformers: Age of Exinction (July 22/14)
The Transformers series returns with what just might be the worst entry yet, as director Michael Bay offers up a punishing 165 minute (!) exercise in abject pointlessness - with the movie's relatively watchable opening hour standing in sharp contrast to a prolonged, padded-out, and thoroughly excruciating second half. The storyline follows Mark Wahlberg's Cade Yeager as he, his daughter (Nicola Peltz's Tessa), and her boyfriend (Jack Reynor's Shane) are drawn into the ongoing battle between Autobots and Decepticons, with the trio's efforts generally hindered by a sinister government agent (Kelsey Grammer's Harold Attinger) and a ruthless business executive (Stanley Tucci's Joshua Joyce). Transformers: Age of Extinction admittedly does get off to a rather passable start, as Bay, along with scripter Ehren Kruger, does a decent job of establishing the central character and his small-town existence - with Wahlberg's appealing turn certainly going a long way towards cultivating a not-entirely-disastrous atmosphere. It's worth noting, too, that the action in the movie's initial stretch is surprisingly palatable, with Bay offering up an early car chase that packs more entertainment value than one might've expected. (It helps, of course, that the film's first half lacks the unintelligible, unpleasant robot-on-robot fights that have come to define this series.) There's little doubt, then, that Transformers: Age of Extinction's shift into a seriously trying piece of work comes at around the halfway mark, as Bay and Kruger, instead of simplifying the narrative, begin flooding the proceedings with one unnecessary subplot after another - with the movie reaching a point at which it could logically conclude and yet continuing on for another interminable hour. The film's final stretch, which feels endless, is devoted almost entirely to a series of mindless and thoroughly unexciting battle sequences, and it's ultimately difficult to envision even Bay himself sitting through the movie's latter half without checking his watch a few times.
out of
13 Hours (February 9/16)
Michael Bay finally hits rock bottom with this interminable and absolutely worthless thriller revolving around the now-infamous 2012 attack on an American diplomatic compound in Benghazi, Iraq, with the movie following several men (including John Krasinski's Jack Silva and James Badge Dale's Tyrone Woods) as they doggedly attempt to make some sense out of the violent chaos. It's an inherently stirring premise that could've, in the hands of a competent director, translated into a searing war flick along the same lines as Saving Private Ryan or Black Hawk Down, with the movie instead, virtually from the word go, striking all the wrong notes and relying hopelessly on the hoariest cliches of the genre. There's little doubt that ranking high on 13 Hours' extensive list of deficiencies is its total lack of compelling, sympathetic characters, as scripter Chuck Hogan offers up a laughable assortment of generic figures that remain hopelessly (and aggressively) underdeveloped for the duration of the movie's seemingly endless running time. And while the movie is almost watchable during its initial, more low-key stretch, 13 Hours, once the aforementioned battle rolls around, morphs into as lifeless and monotonous an endeavor as one could possibly imagine - with Bay's inability to effectively establish the geography of the narrative's locale ensuring that the comes off as a cacophony of loud noises and explosions (ie there's just never a point at which one is able to wholeheartedly discern just what's going on and who's shooting at whom). It's perhaps not surprising to note that one's efforts at discerning which of the protagonists have been killed and which remain standing prove fruitless, while the completely unearned sentimentality of the film's final stretch comes off as both unearned and, frankly, insulting - which confirms 13 Hours' place as a thoroughly reprehensible piece of work that deserves every ounce of derision and vitriol thrown its way.
no stars out of
Transformers: The Last Knight (June 24/17)
As interminable and pointless as one might've feared, Transformers: The Last Knight follows Mark Wahlberg's Cade Yeager as he's forced to come out of hiding and work alongside a history scholar (Laura Haddock's Vivian) and a mysterious figure (Anthony Hopkins' Edmund) to prevent the end of our world. As is generally the case with these movies, Transformers: The Last Knight actually gets off to a somewhat tolerable start - as filmmaker Michael Bay delivers a super slick and thoroughly fast-paced opening stretch that is, admittedly, mindlessly diverting. It is, however, not surprising to note that the picture eventually alienates the viewer with its predictable emphasis on eye-rollingly quirky humor and meandering subplots, with, in terms of the latter, scripters Art Marcum, Matt Holloway, and Ken Nolan infusing the impossibly bloated narrative with a whole host of uniformly under-developed (and completely uninteresting) elements - which, in turn, paves the way for an almost astonishingly tedious midsection devoid of even partially compelling attributes. (Even Hopkins is unable to infuse any life into this terminal production, with the actor relegated to spouting long, meaningless instances of unnecessary exposition.) Far more problematic, of course, is Bay's perpetual mishandling of Transformers: The Last Knight's many, many action sequences, as the director continues to display a total disregard (or, in a more likely scenario, ignorance) for even the most basic rules of cinema - thus ensuring that the film's many, many high-octane moments come off as a hopelessly incoherent blur of movement and noise. The seemingly endless final hour, which seems to consist of nothing but over-the-top, unintelligible action, ensures that the movie fizzles out to a decidedly breathtaking degree, and it's impossible not to wish that this time Bay sticks to his usual promise to never, ever make another Transformers movie.
out of
